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The Quest for the Perfect Turd

The Perfect Turd…

First off, let me get the disclaimer out of the way:

This post is based on my personal opinion and experience. It is not designed to treat, diagnose or make any medical claims or advice. It will however most likely offend someone, since no one likes to be told they are full of “crap”

When I started thinking about writing this blog post, I shelved it twice. It is a subject most people find embarrassing, offensive, private and quite gross. I had many titles for it; The Perfect Poop, The Scoop on Your Poop, Tales from the Toilet, but really who gives a $hit what you call it, the point is, here is my blog post and it’s about The Perfect Turd, (I divorced it…twice.)

When you come to my office and fill out the intake from you will see a diagram of The Bristol Stool Chart.

People either skip this little exercise all together or check off every one of the boxes. It helps people understand a bit more about their “habits” Usually the discussion is enlightening and people can set a personal goal and figure out the what, why and how of making The Perfect Turd. Then, once successful they can throw a private cheer party for themselves in the bathroom at home one day, document the moment MENTALLY (please no photos) and have a happy day because they are now less full of crap then the day before!

The Why….

I am going to give you a small bit of history on why I do what I do. I have been a colon hydrotherapist for about 8 years. I had some very good teachers along the way and made many friends over discussing bowel movements. Conversations with me tend to go to crap!  I met my friends Robin and Sharon this way, we worked together in the “industry” Water cooler talk?  Our water cooler was an Angel of Water® Colon Hydrotherapy Machine. Later on, I met Tina and Trina, both became colleagues of mine in the same Crappy Job, you could say we were plumbers of a sort. We are all still friends, even though they have moved on and I am still slinging “it”. We get together on occasion for dinner, a glass of wine, some live music, girl talk and the conversation always turns to what we ate, what supplement is new, the latest on gut/brain research and the scoop on poop.

Angel Of Water Colon Hydrotherapy Machine

How Soccer Saved My Life…

It is with pride that I celebrate the Private Cheer Party in my bathroom, considering I am missing part of my large intestine. This is the story of how it all began:

I was injured in a soccer game, thrown into the wall by another player bound and determined to score and take home the title of “Over 40 Women’s Indoor Soccer Champs 2002” You got a T-shirt and everything! I had several T-shirts as I had been playing for 5 years or more. Our women’s team was the one to beat. Little did I know, that hormone driven adrenaline junkie beast of a woman who slammed me into the wall most likely saved my life! I left the field not by my own accord, she actually felt so bad she scooped me up and carried me off the field and set me on the bench. Sitting there I desperately sucked razor blade laden oxygen into what I was sure were collapsed lungs. Wiping tears of pain from my eyes, I drove home hunched over the steering wheel of my truck.

I never played soccer again…

Two days after my wall kissing event I still could not stand up straight, and I was having the most awful spasms in my back. I could not suck in a full breath.  I was encouraged to get a CT scan, in case not only were my ribs most likely fractured, but my spleen or something else could have been damage as well.

My world came crashing down in a matter of hours. After the scan, several doctors were escorted into the room where I was waiting for results. There were 2 radiologists, and a surgeon. The one radiologist said “ We have your CT results and they are quite “interesting” There seems to be a MASS in your abdomen”. I remember saying, “No you have the wrong CT scan, I broke my ribs” They assured me that my ribs were in fact injured but there was a MASS encapsulating my appendix. I also remember saying “MASS belongs in church, not inside me!”

The next few days were a whirlwind of tests, consultations, big words like surgery, oncology, hemicolectomy, hysterectomy, colostomy bags, chemo, appendix cancer, mucocele, psuedomyxoma peritonei, and so on were coming out of specialist mouths. I did a ton of research on Dr. Google and the prognosis was that of dooms day. I had to do a personal time out and then took control of how I wanted to proceed. Thankfully the one MD on my side was the oncologist. Needless to say I lost a portion of my colon a week later and spent a lot of time (years) undergoing invasive testing and freaking out waiting for the next results to see if “it” had spread.

I’ve learned a few things along the way:

*Think twice before you wear a cell phone or pager on your body (the tumor was right below where my pager and cell phone belt clip was).
*Never take for granted the beauty of being “regular”
*The things we eat, say and feel affect our gut in more ways than one.
*You never know how strong you can be until you have no choice. (Cliche’ I know but true)
*A big burly woman on a path to score at a sport can in fact save your life.
*People can be Turds too.
*Life changing moments take you on a journey.

For me that journey led to my career, opening a wellness center, new friends, wonderful clients, many laughs, a few tears and the Quest for the Perfect Turd! After surgery I went from not going to the bathroom for days to everything I ate came out looking almost like it did on the plate! I spent countless hours trying to figure out what to do. I did a ton of “alternative” things, supplements, essential oils, raw food, elimination diet, fiber, water, cultured foods, acupuncture, colon hydrotherapy and so on. I was a massage therapy instructor during part of that time so anatomy and physiology were my world, I set off on a quest to get to know my guts!

The How….

Colon Hydrotherapy is just a tool along the way for some and for others it is not an option, and that is totally OK. I remind people it is also about enzymes, diet, hydration, implementing relaxation techniques, taking the time to actually go to the bathroom, learning to listen to the signals that tell you to go, probiotics, gut bacteria, supplementation, and seeing a doctor if necessary. Look into the toilet, pay attention to your body, get the support you need. Use a Squatty Potty®

Squatty Potty

 

Digestive Enzymes

Probiotics

Marco Pharma

In Conclusion…

I have decided that in life a sense of humor will get you through many things. I am grateful for the love and support of friends and family. Grateful even for those Turds that I’ve met along the way. Those experiences will give you courage, light your fire, teach you who you don’t want to be in life or in your career. Challenges will push you right out of your comfort zone where then you are forced to grow.

If you want more information on digestive support and colon hydrotherapy, I encourage you to come visit me at Aqua Serene Wellness, we are located in Carmel, Indiana, The round about capitol of the United States. We also have a wonderful group of professionals here that offer Holistic Skin Care Services, Functional Medicine, Massage Therapy, Acupuncture, Digestive and Holistic Nutrition Consulting, Health and Wellness Coaching, Aromatherapy and Energy Therapy.

Please leave a comment, or share this blog post if you can, it helps keep awareness of our well being and conversations going.

The Art of Smudging With Sage

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Man did not weave the web of life – he is merely a strand in it.
Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
– Chief Seattle, 1854 treaty oration

I like to smudge sage, it is ancient Native American Tradition, as well as a tradition with many cultures throughout the world. There are many types of herbs you can smudge, sweet grass, lavender, cedar, palo santo and so on. I like to use white sage.

My paternal grandmother Lokalona, (Cherokee) taught me that you are supposed to light it with a wooden match. I have done this countless times and yesterday the match head flew off already lit when I struck it on the side of the matchbox and landed right on top my head! It burnt a spot in my part and singed my hair. Now, I do not think burning hair is recommended unless you are practicing some kind of superstition about burning hair and a vision of your future husband/wife is revealed…we will leave superstitions to another blog post and my maternal grandmother!

You should use a clay type fire proof bowl or a shell to hold the ashes and burning fragments and then offer those back to the Mother Earth when they have cooled.

Smudging with sage has many benefits and research shows it raises the negative ions in the air, helping with positive energy.

A little about a Negative Ion Field:

A Negative Ion Field may be helpful with the following:
*Stimulate the Parasympathetic Nervous System which may cause relaxation.
*Balancing adrenals
*Increasing utilization of nutrient absorption
*Decreases pulse
*Supports good bacteria
*Supports many of the body functions

You can purchase sage at many health food stores, new age centers, Native American cultural centers, the internet or grow and dry your own. Some you will find are mixed with other herbs as well.

Set an Intention: Make sure you set an intention, say a prayer to God or The Universe while you are smudging. Be clear on what your intention is. Yesterday I asked for a peaceful end to the water fight in Standing Rock North Dakota. This is something every living thing has a right to, clean water. Please take a moment and send a prayer.

Open a Window: It is said in Native American tradition that people with negative energy are offended by sage almost to the point of revulsion. It is important that when you are burning the sage to have a place for the bad vibes to escape too.

Lighting the Sage: This can be tricky, remember try to use a long wooden match just watch out for flying lit pieces of it!  Once you have a flame blow it out until you see lighted embers. You will witness the fragrant stream of white smoke coming off the embers. I blow on them to keep them going, or move the smudge stick around in the air or around objects that you are smudging.

You can smudge objects to clear negative energy, like your electronics for example.  Some people like to smudge jewelry or other items that might have absorbed bad vibes. You can sage people as well. The best way to do this is have them stand with arms out to the sides, almost like at the airport when they “wand” you. Do the front first, then the back.

Extinguishing your sage is important. Either snuff it out or take it outside and put dirt over the lit end. Make sure to offer any ashes back to Mother Earth and then once you are sure it is out store the sage higher than your waist. This is for respect and keeping the energy in a higher space.

Come visit us at Aqua Serene Wellness and have some tea and enjoy our many services listed below. We love the good energy it brings to come together in community. We smudge with sage at our place often and most everyone that stops in always mentions how the good the energy feels in our space. Leave a comment below, we love hearing from you!

We are located in Carmel Indiana, and offer Holistic Skin Care Services, Colon Hydrotherapy, Raindrop Technique, Jin Shin Jyutsu®, Energy Therapies, Ionic Foot Detox, Massage by Simply Serene Massage  and White Wolf Services Acupuncture by Eastern Wind Acupuncture  and Functional Medicine by Wellspring Functional Health.

Aqua Serene Wellness Spa, 301 E. Carmel Dr, Carmel IN. 46032  phone: 317-564-0930

info@aquaserenewellness.com

Water….Who Knew?

Water, Aqua, H20, Ice, Mist, Rain, Drizzle, Flood…. Water comes in many forms and is equated with many verbs as well. Splash, Drip, Soak, Sprinkle, Spray, Drink, Bathe….

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Water makes up over 60% of Earth and about 70% of us. H20: 2 Hydrogen Atoms bonded with 1 Oxygen Atom and then you have what is known as an inorganic compound that is the most mystifying and amazing element out there. Water constantly changes, it can become a solid, in the form of Ice, a Liquid and a Vapor. It can move, bend, erode, flood, freeze, come down pouring from the sky, or arrive in a gentle mist which makes my hair look a lot like a huge mop!

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Mop hair evidence from a misty night of fishing with my dad in the 1960’s

Water responds to energy. We know this thanks to all the studies done by Dr. Masaru Emoto He exposed water to music and loving messages, and also the opposite and then froze the drops of water to examine the crystal form it took on under each influence. Facinating stuff to this nerdy girl!  I highly recommend checking out his books. In recent years there has been a new theory that water retains memory, and that it can communicate. It has been part of a controversial study by Nobel Prize Laureate Luc Mountagnier Imagine all the stories the water we have used could tell over our life time!

I have been fascinated by water my entire life. I love the ocean, rivers, lakes, creeks and waterfalls. I love a hot bath filled with herbals and salts, hot tubs, floating on a raft, watching a storm roll in and the smell after the rain has stopped. I have always been drawn to water. My job even involves water!

Angel Of Water Colon Hydrotherapy Machine

Angel Of Water Colon Hydrotherapy Machine

Since water “takes on energy” it is important to be nice to yourself and to others, since we are made up of so much water. Say nice things, listen to joyful music, love people, send good energy to them, got out an put your bare feet on the ground and connect with the earth, better yet the beach!

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We have been having a bit of fun here at Aqua Serene Wellness with Vita Juwel Gem Water Bottles. It goes with our theme of water (Aqua) and we love sending out good vibes over here to each other and our clients. These bottles are so beautiful and Dr Emoto’s work was an influence for The Vita Juwel Company, to the point they formed a partnership with HadoLife lab (co-founded by Dr Emoto) and had the gemstone vials analyzed. They did the photographs of the crystal patterns of the water that was placed in the different gemstone bottles. The results were as expected…Amazing!

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Vita Juwel Passion Gem Blend

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VitaJuwel Vision Gem Blend

An example of some of the frozen water drops above^

We love drinking from these beauties and we have them for sale here at Aqua Serene Wellness. We usually always carry the wellness blend in stock and special order the others. Come in an look at the beautiful catalogue and see what calls out your name! We are located at 301 E Carmel Drive, Suite C-100, Carmel, Indiana. 

Vita Juwel Wellness Water Bottle

Vita Juwel Wellness Water Bottle

 

We are having a referral, Share the Love campaign thru July 31 2016. Leave a review on our google page and receive a free 30 minute SOQI Spa session and get entered into the drawing to win a Vita Juwel Wellness Water bottle! Leave a comment and share our blog and we will put you in the drawing as well. We will choose on July 31!

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