The Quest for the Perfect Turd

The Perfect Turd…

First off, let me get the disclaimer out of the way:

This post is based on my personal opinion and experience. It is not designed to treat, diagnose or make any medical claims or advice. It will however most likely offend someone, since no one likes to be told they are full of “crap”

When I started thinking about writing this blog post, I shelved it twice. It is a subject most people find embarrassing, offensive, private and quite gross. I had many titles for it; The Perfect Poop, The Scoop on Your Poop, Tales from the Toilet, but really who gives a $hit what you call it, the point is, here is my blog post and it’s about The Perfect Turd, (I divorced it…twice.)

When you come to my office and fill out the intake from you will see a diagram of The Bristol Stool Chart.

People either skip this little exercise all together or check off every one of the boxes. It helps people understand a bit more about their “habits” Usually the discussion is enlightening and people can set a personal goal and figure out the what, why and how of making The Perfect Turd. Then, once successful they can throw a private cheer party for themselves in the bathroom at home one day, document the moment MENTALLY (please no photos) and have a happy day because they are now less full of crap then the day before!

The Why….

I am going to give you a small bit of history on why I do what I do. I have been a colon hydrotherapist for about 8 years. I had some very good teachers along the way and made many friends over discussing bowel movements. Conversations with me tend to go to crap!  I met my friends Robin and Sharon this way, we worked together in the “industry” Water cooler talk?  Our water cooler was an Angel of Water® Colon Hydrotherapy Machine. Later on, I met Tina and Trina, both became colleagues of mine in the same Crappy Job, you could say we were plumbers of a sort. We are all still friends, even though they have moved on and I am still slinging “it”. We get together on occasion for dinner, a glass of wine, some live music, girl talk and the conversation always turns to what we ate, what supplement is new, the latest on gut/brain research and the scoop on poop.

Angel Of Water Colon Hydrotherapy Machine

How Soccer Saved My Life…

It is with pride that I celebrate the Private Cheer Party in my bathroom, considering I am missing part of my large intestine. This is the story of how it all began:

I was injured in a soccer game, thrown into the wall by another player bound and determined to score and take home the title of “Over 40 Women’s Indoor Soccer Champs 2002” You got a T-shirt and everything! I had several T-shirts as I had been playing for 5 years or more. Our women’s team was the one to beat. Little did I know, that hormone driven adrenaline junkie beast of a woman who slammed me into the wall most likely saved my life! I left the field not by my own accord, she actually felt so bad she scooped me up and carried me off the field and set me on the bench. Sitting there I desperately sucked razor blade laden oxygen into what I was sure were collapsed lungs. Wiping tears of pain from my eyes, I drove home hunched over the steering wheel of my truck.

I never played soccer again…

Two days after my wall kissing event I still could not stand up straight, and I was having the most awful spasms in my back. I could not suck in a full breath.  I was encouraged to get a CT scan, in case not only were my ribs most likely fractured, but my spleen or something else could have been damage as well.

My world came crashing down in a matter of hours. After the scan, several doctors were escorted into the room where I was waiting for results. There were 2 radiologists, and a surgeon. The one radiologist said “ We have your CT results and they are quite “interesting” There seems to be a MASS in your abdomen”. I remember saying, “No you have the wrong CT scan, I broke my ribs” They assured me that my ribs were in fact injured but there was a MASS encapsulating my appendix. I also remember saying “MASS belongs in church, not inside me!”

The next few days were a whirlwind of tests, consultations, big words like surgery, oncology, hemicolectomy, hysterectomy, colostomy bags, chemo, appendix cancer, mucocele, psuedomyxoma peritonei, and so on were coming out of specialist mouths. I did a ton of research on Dr. Google and the prognosis was that of dooms day. I had to do a personal time out and then took control of how I wanted to proceed. Thankfully the one MD on my side was the oncologist. Needless to say I lost a portion of my colon a week later and spent a lot of time (years) undergoing invasive testing and freaking out waiting for the next results to see if “it” had spread.

I’ve learned a few things along the way:

*Think twice before you wear a cell phone or pager on your body (the tumor was right below where my pager and cell phone belt clip was).
*Never take for granted the beauty of being “regular”
*The things we eat, say and feel affect our gut in more ways than one.
*You never know how strong you can be until you have no choice. (Cliche’ I know but true)
*A big burly woman on a path to score at a sport can in fact save your life.
*People can be Turds too.
*Life changing moments take you on a journey.

For me that journey led to my career, opening a wellness center, new friends, wonderful clients, many laughs, a few tears and the Quest for the Perfect Turd! After surgery I went from not going to the bathroom for days to everything I ate came out looking almost like it did on the plate! I spent countless hours trying to figure out what to do. I did a ton of “alternative” things, supplements, essential oils, raw food, elimination diet, fiber, water, cultured foods, acupuncture, colon hydrotherapy and so on. I was a massage therapy instructor during part of that time so anatomy and physiology were my world, I set off on a quest to get to know my guts!

The How….

Colon Hydrotherapy is just a tool along the way for some and for others it is not an option, and that is totally OK. I remind people it is also about enzymes, diet, hydration, implementing relaxation techniques, taking the time to actually go to the bathroom, learning to listen to the signals that tell you to go, probiotics, gut bacteria, supplementation, and seeing a doctor if necessary. Look into the toilet, pay attention to your body, get the support you need. Use a Squatty Potty®

Squatty Potty


Digestive Enzymes


Marco Pharma

In Conclusion…

I have decided that in life a sense of humor will get you through many things. I am grateful for the love and support of friends and family. Grateful even for those Turds that I’ve met along the way. Those experiences will give you courage, light your fire, teach you who you don’t want to be in life or in your career. Challenges will push you right out of your comfort zone where then you are forced to grow.

If you want more information on digestive support and colon hydrotherapy, I encourage you to come visit me at Aqua Serene Wellness, we are located in Carmel, Indiana, The round about capitol of the United States. We also have a wonderful group of professionals here that offer Holistic Skin Care Services, Functional Medicine, Massage Therapy, Acupuncture, Digestive and Holistic Nutrition Consulting, Health and Wellness Coaching, Aromatherapy and Energy Therapy.

Please leave a comment, or share this blog post if you can, it helps keep awareness of our well being and conversations going.

Food and Dream Jobs

Valentines and Porcelain

It is that time of year again where love is in the air. Hearts, roses, chocolates, and Porcelain… What, did I say Porcelain? Why yes I did and I will circle back to that farther on down the line! Ha! If you know me then you get both of those statements.

Valentine Roses

We all have a few Valentine stories, and I am no exception. It is not a favorite day of mine I will confess. Many years ago I got engaged on Valentine’s Day (1980) That is a story for a glass of wine or something stronger, so I will leave that right there.

Back even further there were the years in school before political correctness that we could give Valentines to whom ever we wanted too, not the whole class. I remember being so upset when a boy I liked in fifth grade didn’t give me one. He turned out to be a class A Jerk so I guess the Universe saved me from future agony. On top of that I learned about rejection and how to deal with it early on so for that I am grateful.

Old School Valentine

In high school you could pay for a candy gram to be delivered in class along with a song and dance. I never got one of those either, partly because my boyfriend went to another school and partly because I was in DE so I went to school part of the day then worked the other, and I guess mostly because I was not in the “in” crowd.


Before that my dad was my best Valentine. He got me a big heart box of candy every year with….a porcelain doll on top, her beautiful satin dress was part of the box covering and her face and finger nails were hand painted…what I would give to have those now. I stored them in a box that was eventually designated to my parents basement which flooded ruining most of my childhood memories.

Valentine Heart Doll

When my kids were small we had to go out and get Valentine cards and sit down and address each one to every kid in the class. Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles were the popular choices, I was room mom so I made cookies and cupcakes. No one learned about rejection….

As the years went by I received my share of roses and chocolates, homemade Valentine cards from my kids and always something from my mom and dad. Now that dad is gone I send my mom chocolate covered strawberries and a card. These past six years without him here on Valentine’s Day I think of those little porcelain dolls and how much I miss him. I cannot imagine how much my mom does too.

My Dad and I

I will never forget my Dad on Valentine’s Day

Three years ago on Valentine’s Day I was at Lowes looking for the perfect Valentine gift for my boyfriend Tony. I was looking for maybe a tool or some manly gift and I spotted a bathroom sink cabinet on sale. I bought it for our half bath. I think I got him a tool too, I cannot remember actually, but the sink was NOT the gift. I was excited for a new little sink to replace the awful one in our circa 1950’s half bath.

My new sink

I dropped the sink off at home and he reluctantly began installing it. I had left to go to the grocery store when I got a phone call from him. It went sort of like this:

Me: Hello?
Tony: Hey can you stop by Lowes and pick up a toilet?
Me: Why? Our toilet is not that old, I am sure it is still OK.
Tony: No it’s not ok, I accidentally broke it installing your sink.
Me: Hmm……OK
Off to Lowes I go for the new toilet to accompany my “On Sale” new sink.

I pick up a good old American Standard and  a beeswax ring and bring it home….well it didn’t fit. Yep old houses have a different spacing between the wall and the hole in the floor. So off to the plumbers supply store we head to buy and rather expensive retro toilet to fit our bathroom.

Tony installing toilet

The new porcelain!


A comment I received that day telling a friend the story was “Happy Valentine’s Day, Nothing Says Love Like New Porcelain”

Considering what I do for a living (Colon Hydrotherapist) how appropriate was it to get the gift of a sparkling new retro fit toilet on this day dedicated to hearts and roses!

So Porcelain it was as a small child on a heart shaped box and Porcelain it is still….Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you, I hope you cherish your Valentine memories as much as I do.

We have a contest going until Valentine’s Day. Share this blog on social media, and leave a comment about one of your favorite memories of Valentine’s Day and you will be entered to win a Dr. Hauschka Gift! I posted a video below showing the gift, Click the link. It is on our Facebook Page as well.

valentine special

Come see us at the spa, we are located at: 301 E Carmel Drive Suite C-100 Carmel Indiana


Tues, Weds, Thurs 10-6:30

Friday and Saturday 10-3:30

We offer Digestive Support, Colon Hydrotherapy, Holistic Skin Care, Raindrop Technique, Jin Shin Jyutsu®, Energy Therapies, Massage, Acupuncture, Functional Medicine, Holistic Nutrition and Weight Loss

My Personal Journey W/ Red Skin Syndrome & Eczema

Red Skin Syndrome, also known as Topical Steroid Addiction and Withdrawal, is a debilitating condition that can arise from the use of topical steroid creams to treat a skin problem such as eczema. (credit: website)

This condition can affect people who use or overuse topical steroids for eczema, rashes, acne and skin treatments after cosmetic procedures. Topical steroids come in creams, ointments, lotions and gels. They can be purchased over the counter or in stronger formulations by prescription. Other names are cortisone, glucocoticosteriords, coticortisteroids.

Not everyone who uses these topical steroids will develop RSS and it is unknown why some people are affected and others are not. Often when prescribed for Atopic Dermatitis it works initially, but when the cream is stopped a rebound will occur, often with even worse symptoms or it can show up elsewhere on the body. Many mistake this for the original problem spreading when often times it is a result of the use of a topical steroid and the withdrawal symptoms.

I have suffered from RSS due to many years of having eczema (atopic dermatits). I have been told there is no cure for my eczema, only treatment. My father had it as well and it is often linked back genetically in families. There was a time in my life when my skin burned, itched, cracked and bled at every knuckle and bend on my palms. Every crease in my legs, between my toes, along my hairline, in my scalp, my ears and the cracks and folds around my nose and mouth. I spent many years covering my skin with over the counter, as well as prescribed creams and lotions.  They would relieve it for a little bit then my skin would burn and itch tenfold. I soaked in oatmeal baths, tried coconut oils, shea butters, African Black soaps, apple cider vinegar, and more. I tried to cover the red and cracked areas on my face with makeup, only to have it look worse. The mirror became the enemy, so did my clothes.

Skin Treatment Mask

Me with a calming mask on my face

My anatomy teacher and mentor in massage school would tell me at times I looked like I had pseudo-icthyosis. It was a play on words for a real condition called Icthyosis. This is also a genetic skin disorder that often appears as fish scales or thickened cracked and peeling skin on portions or all over the body, again, no cure only treatment.

I cannot begin to tell you how miserable it feels to be inside a body that constantly burns and itches, let alone to look in the mirror and see yourself looking like you just survived a fire or chemical spill. Clothes rub and itch, cold weather burns your skin, the sun helps but then there is the conundrum of sun exposure, SPF stings, bug spray burns, perfumes, scented soaps, laundry detergent, make up, the list goes on and that is only topical irritants. Then there are the foods that trigger it; gluten, dairy, sugar, preservatives, dyes, alcohol, spices, etc.

From my own personal experience I will tell you what has helped me over the years. The FIRST thing is stepping away from topical steroids, this took many months (about 20) of rebound and misery. The SECOND was trying to learn the triggers that set off the eczema to begin with. For me it was stress, certain foods, and household and personal care items. I began using only high quality organic skin care products and toiletries. Eliminating chemicals in my home, ie: cleaners, fragrances, pesticides, etc. I wear organic cotton clothes when I can or very soft fibers. I rip out the tags, or buy things without tags.

THIRD and probably most important: Education, it equaled freedom for me! I am not suggesting you go to the extremes I did, the reason I did was to help others as well as myself.


I learned about the gut and how it plays such a huge role in our health and mental health as well. I became certified in the digestive wellness arena; Colon Hydrotherapy, Loomis Digestive Enzyme Specialist and other digestive supplementation workshops. I learned about nutrition, absorption, assimilation, and elimination. What to eat, what not to eat, hydration and so on. This eventually became my career and it helped get my digestion in order, but the skin component was missing. I could not discuss this on a expert level with clients so I decided to go back to school to learn about the skin. I needed to add that missing part to the puzzle of helping myself as well as others.


Eczema reared it’s ugly head again while I was in Esthetics school.  Many of my fellow students and now friends can attest to my struggle. They were concerned working on my face or body for fear of hurting me. Anyone who has ever gone to esthetics school can relate on how much stuff they did daily to each other in order to learn as well as “get our hours of hands on in” We were  introduced to many professional products some even that had steroids in them for the purpose of reducing the effects of redness and itching after treatments. I drew the line at putting those on my body. There were a few running comments in class; “No Cindy, it is not organic” “Yes, everyone has to get as well as give all the treatments” and from my own mouth “shit that burns, hurts, itches, stings…all the way up to Hell No you’re not putting that on my skin today” I had so many chemicals, petro chemicals, preservatives and acids put on my skin, waxes, dye, make up, micro-derm crystals, desincrustation fluids, galvanic, etc. that you can imagine how bad it felt.  It was all in the normal course of learning and I suffered most days with a smile plastered on my face, expletives screaming in my mind and many tears  alone in my car as I drove home with my skin on fire. I went in everyday on time with perfect attendance, graduating with the highest GPA of my class, one goal in mind; get my diploma(s) so I could continue on to learn the holistic skin care world and open Aqua Serene Wellness Spa! I went on to become the only certified Dr. Hauschka Holistic Esthetician in Indiana and have not looked back. One of these days I will write a blog about my time in esthetics school, there was much frustration as well as a few comical moments and I made some life long friends along the way.


My Esthetics class

Graduation Day!

The tagline in my business name is “from the skin to within” for a reason. It has taken all these components to battle my daily life as a person with eczema and sensitive skin, let alone the journey of life functioning with part of my large intestine missing!

From what you put in your mouth, on your skin, breath into your lungs and what you eliminate is a key factor in our health and wellness.


I still suffer from bouts of eczema, stress is the one thing I still have to conquer. I am working on that and have implemented services here at the spa to help with relaxation. We offer Massage, Jin Shin Jyutsu® and Acupuncture. We have our Far Infrared SOQI bed and our CellumaPro LED Light panel.

Far Infrared Sauna

Our Beautiful SOQI Spa room

CellumaPro LED

LED Light Treatments

Celluma LED

We offer two different types of foot Detoxes as well as other energy modalities. I enjoy the times I get to sit in the cozy reception area and visit with clients and friends over herbal teas and laughter. Do not dscount those moments of joining together in conversation and giggles, those are the absolute best stress reducers, and money cannot buy that! I will continue my love of learning,  I not only do it for myself but for my clients and family. We have some new things planned for Aqua Serene Wellness Spa in 2017 and as always we have a great team of businesses and practitioners we refer to in house as well as out.

We wish you a wonderful and health filled 2017!

We are Located at 301 E Carmel Dr Suite C-100 Carmel Indiana 317-564-0930

Disclaimer: This blog is for information only, it is not meant to diagnose or treat any condition or disease. Please seek professional medical advice before stopping or starting any medication or treatment. These are just my own personal observations and experiences and not intended to treat or diagnose.

For more information on RSS visit:
For more information on Ichthyosis visit:

Thoughts on Time

Time according to Webster’s dictionary is as follows.

1. The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.”travel through space and time”
2. A point of time as measured in hours and minutes past midnight or noon.”the time is 9:30″
Plan, schedule, or arrange when (something) should happen or be done.”the first track race is timed for 11:15″
Measure the time taken by (a process or activity, or a person doing it).”we were timed and given certificates according to our speed”

I recently saw a film and it got me to thinking about a few things. I have always had this odd feeling where “time” is concerned. Like I am on the edge of knowing something, or for lack of a better way to explain it, more like “remembering something”. Have you ever had that odd moment when you cannot remember something you know you should be able to recall? It is on the tip of your tongue or edge of your brain. Scientifically speaking you still have the memory just misplace the trigger to find it. That is how I feel about the mystery of time.


They say it is not linear, that simultaneous things happen at the same time yet in different space. What one person sees or feels at that very instant another sees differently or in a lapse. They say we can transcend, that our soul is everlasting, it just spends some time in our human bodies for the experience. That a blink of an eye for our soul is a lifetime for our body. That the world was created in 7 days, but what constituted a day back then? What feels like a lifetime for a prisoner doing 5 years behind bars, yet that same time of 2629743.83 minutes seems to fly by in a flash when we see our newborn baby off to kindergarten. When a person gets that diagnosis of a fatal disease and only has months or days left, time becomes the enemy. Time is conceptional to each person and/or situation. Depending on what we fill it up with.

me heading off to kindergarten with my best friend Danny Lostoski 1966

There are many sayings to accompany it:
Wasted time
Running out of time
Time is on your side
Time is of the essence
Doing time
Time of our lives
Against time
Next time
Time in a bottle
Time and time again….

You get the idea, we are either late, early or on time. It is merely a measurement and is different for each person. I have been “living on borrowed time” which is a concept I don’t get because I can never pay it back. You cannot bank time.

As time goes by, where does it go? If we only have right now this very moment why are we spending it plotting and planning, worrying and stressing about another moment in the future or the past? How can we use up time if it is only a concept? If we are late on bills, payments or work we are fined, docked or even turned over to collections. Time=Money for most things in life. Overtime, Time & 1/2, PTO, late fees, interest, etc. The world has to run on time, it keeps order from chaos, sets boundaries as in time zones or taking up someones time.

There are songs, movies, books, and magazines devoted to it. There are products designed to save you time, stop the signs of aging, turn back the clock etc.

My own experiment with Time:

I arrived early on the planet in 1960 by about 5 days and I am usually early to most appointments. I am not sure if this is coincidental or not because both of my kids were born on their due date naturally and are often late….In the past I tended to arrive at least 10 minutes early to everything and then get upset when people would arrive on time because there I was waiting. I would get more and more upset by each moment if they were actually late.  So I decided in 2008 to be 5 minutes late to almost everything so I could better understand and empathize with those who are always late, as well as for my own sanity. I did it for about a year. I realized the anxiety excuse driven phrases that people gave me were now coming out of my mouth! It was exhausting, however now I am much more calm when people are a bit late. I try hard to adhere to the idea that the Universe has it’s reasons, and I am not early as often to everything and even late on occasion. I do still get a bit anxious if I am the one late though.

I have a wristwatch, most of us have one or more as a fashion statement or for function. I stopped  wearing one for 8 years until last year. The watch I had worn for many years was given to me by my ex husband while on a vacation to Aruba. He wanted me to think of him every time I looked at the watch. The trip wasn’t that great and neither was the marriage. When I divorced him the absolute last thing I wanted to do was look at that watch several times a day and think of him! So I took it off and never put it back on. I got used to using my cell phone to gauge time. Many people use their phones I notice more than a watch now. I am guessing that is why they have made cellphones that are watches. I got a new watch last year from my boyfriend and I wear it often. I still forget to put it on more out of  the old habit of not wearing one. I like it because it is big enough that I can read it and it is a piece of jewelry that has function and beauty…a timepiece. I think of him when I look at it which makes me smile, he knows the story of me and watches and is helping me write a new chapter.  Yesterday I forgot to put it on and found myself looking at my wrist out of habit for the time.


My new watch

I always need to know what time it is, and to top it off I set the clock in my truck, at home and on my watch 8 minutes ahead so I can do math, because I tell myself it keeps my brain “fresh”. I hate math by the way.

The theory of “Light Years Away” always blows my mind. That the light we are seeing from a star is calculated to have traveled 6 trillion miles in a year, therefore it is light from a time (x) amount of years ago…Space-time continuum; Space and Time used in a mathematical equation that is a four dimensional continuum…did I mention I hate math, but I love science…you cannot have one without the other, Grrr.


The morning moonlight

Where am I going with this whole rambling of a blog you ask? I am not quite sure, I know it was time I wrote a blog and open up the conversation. I hope I haven’t wasted your time.

It is a new year coming on us, another concept of measurement, time for resolutions, new ideas and letting go of the old. The year calculates to the number 1 (if you are into numerology you know the equations) so we get to begin again…It is a time for cleansing the body and mind.

Speaking of cleansing, it is one of the things we do here at Aqua Serene. We have been open one year this coming January. There are days that flew by, some dragged on and on and now it seems that the year happened in a flash!  We have learned many things, met new people, did events, helped charities, introduced new products and hopefully helped many of our clients feel as special as they truly are. We really hope you have enjoyed this journey along with us and are looking forward to what is yet to unfold.

I want to wish you all they happiest of New Years with blessings, peace of mind, reflection and joy. I want to thank those of you who have been loyal clients and brand new ones. I love welcoming you, your friends and referrals to Aqua Serene Wellness Spa. Come spend some time with us, even if it is just to have some tea and give me your thoughts on the concept of this blog!


Come have tea with us!

Leave a message please and we love when you share!

Happy New Year!

We are located in Carmel, Indiana and offer Colon Hydrotherapy, Digestive Support, Ionic foot Detox, Holistic Skin Care Services, Energy Therapies, Massage, Acupuncture, Raindrop Technique, Jin Shin Jyutsu®, Functional Health and Nutrition. Check out the business located in Aqua Serene Wellness.

Simply Serene Massage Eastern Wind Acupuncture Wellspring Functional Health White Wolf Services

Thoughts on Holiday Indulgence from a Wellness Professional


While pondering on what subject I should blog about during this sugar and wheat filled season of guilt, I felt compelled to write about holiday indulgence.

First off let me add a disclaimer: This is just my experience with holiday gluttony and lack of willpower. I am in no way telling you what, why, when or how much you should indulge or abstain. These are just my own observations of years and years of enjoying the guilt of the season. After all January is next and we all know that is when the real struggle begins!

So, for starters there are a few must haves before the indulgence can even begin.
1. A very good probiotic



2. Digestive Enzymes for basic digestion

Digestive Enzymes

3. A good heartburn remedy and plan for exit strategy (pooping)

Our Serene Colon Hydrotherapy Room Featuring the Angel Of Water

Marco Pharma

5. Some discrepancy on where your food is sourced

Our Garden

We have 4 of the those 5 bases covered here at Aqua Serene Wellness!

Now onto the indulgence part.

I feel that when you eat with guilt you have just lowered the positive energy in the experience and devalued any nutrition that might have been likely in the first place. So Bless your food. Enjoy and Savor the moment, for it only comes around one time a year!



The food and aromas trigger those memories of joy and abandon, don’t ruin it with guilt and negativity, and don’t ruin my choices or anyone’s for that matter with negativity either! It is called informed consent when dealing with adults. Our kids we need to teach a little bit of pacing themselves for their own sake and for the sake of those who have to try and put them to bed at night! So as you take each bite into that buttery wheat and sugar filled cookie, pie or cake relish in the memory that comes with it. Just don’t eat the entire plate full, share and then share some more!

My cheesecakes

Homemade Pizzelles

I love to cook and bake and yes some of my foods have flour and sugar, I warn anyone who is gluten, dairy or sugar intolerant what is in the food. I can tell you absolutely none of the food I bake has artificial colors, flavors or preservatives. I use only organic baking goods, backyard eggs (my backyard) real organic butter and dairy and when possible honey from local bees, maple syrup from my trees, and sugar that is organic and sustainably sourced. The absolute most important ingredient in any item that comes from my circa 1950’s kitchen is LOVE! This null and voids any “bad” ingredient hands down in my personal opinion.

Maple Syrup from our trees

I try to mostly feed my soul. In the Winter it is from the kitchen, cooking and baking, canning and experimenting is something that calms me, makes me happy and I love to do. This feeds the people I love and my own passions. I will say, I do miss my double convection bake oven, professional line gas stove and counter space that three people could take a nap on, but still give me a burner, a mixer, a 1950’s basic electric stove and a cutting board and I can still manage to whip out love and a thing of beauty.


In Summer I feed my soul by gardening, canning, eating food right off the vine and foraging in my woods for berries. Most of my “Soul Food” comes from my own yard and kitchen, and if not then I go to local markets and organic grocery stores where I tend to lose hours of my time. Did I mention I love food? I have to steer clear of kitchen gadget stores I want them all! I cannot go to a Pampered Chef party…ever!

Black Raspberries from our woods

Black Raspberry Jam

So during this holiday party scene that is once again upon us I want to remind you that it is OK to eat the cookie, drink the holiday cocktail (as long as you have a safe way to get home) and lick the beaters, just don’t put them back in the batter! Bless the food you make with LOVE, as well as the food you eat. Share that recipe, share the cookies and share the LOVE. You are making memories for those you love and visiting memories from those that have left us.

Photo Credit Willie Stark


Fermented kefir water

We will have a Cleanse Special in January to help with exit strategies and get you back on track. I want to remind you it will be so much easier to reset your gut if you are eating fermented foods, taking probiotics and enzymes as well as eliminating during the indulgence season. We have 10% off our digestive enzymes and probiotics through the end of the year!

Have you Pooped Today?

We send Love to all of you during this season from all of us here at Aqua Serene Wellness. We are located in Carmel Indiana, and the 100th Round-about just opened up on E. Carmel Drive which is where we are. Please leave a comment about a favorite holiday memory, we will choose one to feature in a drawing for a Gift Certificate for an Ionic Foot Detox!

We offer Colon Hydrotherapy, Organic Skin Care Services, Energy Therapy, Ionic Foot Detox, Massage, Acupuncture, Functional Medicine, Raindrop Technique, Jin Shin Jyutsu® and Digestive Wellness. Visit the wonderful practitioners in our office: Eastern Wind Acupuncture ,

Simply Serene Massage, Wellspring Functional Health, White Wolf Services

Find us on Social Media here: Check Us Out on Facebook,


The Art of Smudging With Sage


Man did not weave the web of life – he is merely a strand in it.
Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
– Chief Seattle, 1854 treaty oration

I like to smudge sage, it is ancient Native American Tradition, as well as a tradition with many cultures throughout the world. There are many types of herbs you can smudge, sweet grass, lavender, cedar, palo santo and so on. I like to use white sage.

My paternal grandmother Lokalona, (Cherokee) taught me that you are supposed to light it with a wooden match. I have done this countless times and yesterday the match head flew off already lit when I struck it on the side of the matchbox and landed right on top my head! It burnt a spot in my part and singed my hair. Now, I do not think burning hair is recommended unless you are practicing some kind of superstition about burning hair and a vision of your future husband/wife is revealed…we will leave superstitions to another blog post and my maternal grandmother!

You should use a clay type fire proof bowl or a shell to hold the ashes and burning fragments and then offer those back to the Mother Earth when they have cooled.

Smudging with sage has many benefits and research shows it raises the negative ions in the air, helping with positive energy.

A little about a Negative Ion Field:

A Negative Ion Field may be helpful with the following:
*Stimulate the Parasympathetic Nervous System which may cause relaxation.
*Balancing adrenals
*Increasing utilization of nutrient absorption
*Decreases pulse
*Supports good bacteria
*Supports many of the body functions

You can purchase sage at many health food stores, new age centers, Native American cultural centers, the internet or grow and dry your own. Some you will find are mixed with other herbs as well.

Set an Intention: Make sure you set an intention, say a prayer to God or The Universe while you are smudging. Be clear on what your intention is. Yesterday I asked for a peaceful end to the water fight in Standing Rock North Dakota. This is something every living thing has a right to, clean water. Please take a moment and send a prayer.

Open a Window: It is said in Native American tradition that people with negative energy are offended by sage almost to the point of revulsion. It is important that when you are burning the sage to have a place for the bad vibes to escape too.

Lighting the Sage: This can be tricky, remember try to use a long wooden match just watch out for flying lit pieces of it!  Once you have a flame blow it out until you see lighted embers. You will witness the fragrant stream of white smoke coming off the embers. I blow on them to keep them going, or move the smudge stick around in the air or around objects that you are smudging.

You can smudge objects to clear negative energy, like your electronics for example.  Some people like to smudge jewelry or other items that might have absorbed bad vibes. You can sage people as well. The best way to do this is have them stand with arms out to the sides, almost like at the airport when they “wand” you. Do the front first, then the back.

Extinguishing your sage is important. Either snuff it out or take it outside and put dirt over the lit end. Make sure to offer any ashes back to Mother Earth and then once you are sure it is out store the sage higher than your waist. This is for respect and keeping the energy in a higher space.

Come visit us at Aqua Serene Wellness and have some tea and enjoy our many services listed below. We love the good energy it brings to come together in community. We smudge with sage at our place often and most everyone that stops in always mentions how the good the energy feels in our space. Leave a comment below, we love hearing from you!

We are located in Carmel Indiana, and offer Holistic Skin Care Services, Colon Hydrotherapy, Raindrop Technique, Jin Shin Jyutsu®, Energy Therapies, Ionic Foot Detox, Massage by Simply Serene Massage  and White Wolf Services Acupuncture by Eastern Wind Acupuncture  and Functional Medicine by Wellspring Functional Health.

Aqua Serene Wellness Spa, 301 E. Carmel Dr, Carmel IN. 46032  phone: 317-564-0930

Universe Inspiration and the Butterfly Effect


Butterfly Effect

I live in a world that has a cause and effect factor to it. On one hand I am very scientific, and on the other I am quite spiritual. As the saying goes, both hands are connected to the same body. It took many years to realize they are one and the same. That it all comes back to the Universe and Inspiration.

I read a lot, mostly books about wellness, health, chemistry, scientific energy, spiritual energy, Universe stuff. When my youngest son was eight years old he bought me a book for Christmas. It was Ripley’s Believe It or Not. When I opened up his gift that had half a roll of scotch tape and about a foot too much wrapping paper around it, I smiled. He was beaming as he watched me struggle to open the box and he said “because you like books about facts mommy” Even at that young age he knew his mommy pretty well! He is twenty-six now and we often have some interesting conversations about facts and the Universe. I recently shared a book with him that I have highly recommended to most of my friends lately; The Universe Has Your Back by Gabby Bernstein. It really hit home on many levels. Go out and get it, you won’t be able to put it down!

I get caught up at times in the chaos that is life. I lose sight of the moments because there are bills to pay, business things that need my attention, yard work, housework, meetings, family obligations, etc., and so on. When I turn on the TV it blares the most recent crimes, political bullshit and drama. I tend to only watch comedy sitcoms, no courtroom or CSI or police shows. I don’t watch CNN or FOXNews or any of the 24 hour news stations. These things take me into Fear and away from Love. I catch the evening news here and there, but usually it is to just buy time until the monologue of late night comes on or SNL. I prefer to laugh, smile and feel good and want the same if the TV is on. I much prefer nature, books, music and hanging out with my dog. The things that remind me to feed my Soul, not my Fears.

I like to engage with the energy of the Universe. I enjoy talking to the plants when I am putting them in the ground, apologize to them when I cut them back or pull the ones that are pushing out my flowers. I thank the tomato, beans and corn plants when I pick their bounty from my garden. I acknowledge the sticker bushes that latch on to my shirt or skin when I pick berries in my woods. They usually always release me without a scratch. I leave half the berries for the birds and woodland creatures, they survive on them and after all we are all connected, there is never a reason for greed in that world.

I don’t want to lose sight of the fact we are all children of the Universe, every one of us, good people, bad people, and the lost and broken, the animals, plants, anything with a life force. We all come from the same Source of Love, some people stray very far away from that, they take on traits that all link back to Fear which is the opposite of Joy and Joy is Love. The Universe always knows, is always there, in us, around us always. I like to ask for reminders, when I need reassurance I am on the right path. Recently I did this with Blue Butterflies.

About a month ago I was having a melt down moment. I was overwhelmed with trying to keep up with the overgrowth of weeds and branches that had fallen during our summer of tropical rain and storms. I was way behind because I had broken my ankle right at the beginning of summer.While it is a shared job at home it seemed I was trying to keep the house clean, mow our acres of grass, can the garden bounty, learn about chickens, deal with family drama and such on my only two days off per week. I was putting the stress of everything on my shoulders. I can be stubborn and not ask for help, another one of life’s lessons I have not quite mastered.

My new business also had so much for me to learn, and worry about. Marketing, budgeting, renting space, buying products, bills, reaching out for clients, 12 hour days, etc., It had just gotten to me and as I pulled the 300 feet of weeds strangling out the 100 baby day lilies I had planted two years ago, I broke down and sobbed. I sat on the grassy area between the road and my flower garden, overgrowth galore and begged the Universe for a sign. Was I on the right path in life or should I pack up and sell it all and cut out in the dark of the night? My life looked just like my flower bed at the moment, strangled, messy with spotty yellow flowers trying to rise above the chaos.

As I sat there, I said to the blue sky full of puffy clouds “Thank you Universe for showing me I am on the right path by giving me the gift of seeing blue butterflies” I wiped the tears from my eyes with canvas garden gloves and began to apologize to every weed and baby maple tree I pulled from the ground. I thanked the Lilies for blooming and growing and promised them I would not let the weeds take over.

About thirty minutes into my task I saw a beautiful blue butterfly land on the pile of branches and weeds I had accumulated. Mind you, I asked for BLUE butterflies because I rarely if ever see them. I see yellow, white and orange ones a lot, sometimes I will see a stunning black and purple one, but blue is rather rare. I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and snapped a photo. I started to giggle, almost hysterically. I was so excited that the Universe had heard my question and was giving me an answer! The butterfly stayed for a bit fluttering from tree to tree then off he went. My heart was lighter.


Blue Butterfly Visitor From The Universe

I have kept my blue butterfly thing going now for about a month. My question is usually the same, am I doing the right thing, making the right decision? I thank the Universe every time I see blue butterflies and the Universe keeps on giving them to me everywhere. I giggle every time and try hard to take a photo. I did stop myself from snapping a photo at a friends wedding recently. This little old lady was wearing a blue butterfly pin on her lapel, she had a bit of an unapproachable glare so I opted out.


More Inspiration from the Universe and my mom’s shirt bottom right.

Last week I had arrived at my mom’s house after a long 350 mile drive. I had not mentioned the butterfly story to her, she is very hard of hearing and over the phone trying to explain Universal stuff and having her understand at 83.999 years old was more than I wanted to get into. I stepped into her kitchen and there she sat wearing a blue shirt with powder blue and white butterflies  on it. I busted out laughing, told her the story and she started to giggle. She had just changed her shirt right before I got there because she had spilled something on the one she was wearing!


These Butterflies all showed up in one day.

So I invite you to join in on the fun. Ask for a sign, make it simple but personal to you. Be sure to thank the Universe for responding. Remember to lean towards Love, send out the good energy to those you love but also to those that are lost, broken and coming from fear. They are all part of our web and when we send out love it heals us all.
Please share your stories with me, post them in the comments section or come on over for some tea and conversation. We love when you come visit us at Aqua Serene Wellness. We love it even more when you tell your friends about us and introduce them to our services. Please share the Love, after all the Universe is telling me I am on the right path and I so much want to share that path with all of you.

We are located in Carmel, Indiana (round-abouts and construction cones are the city theme at the moment) We offer Colon Hydrotherapy, Organic Skin Care Services, Massage Therapy, Raindrop Technique, Jin Shin Jyutsu, Acupuncture and Digestive support.

Welcome October!

October leaves

Tony gathering the October leaves in our yard.

(Disclaimer) Let me start off by saying this particular blog post came off as sort of a writing assignment that was prompted by a friend who instructed a Qoya Dance and Writers Workshop that I attended. I apologize for grammatical errors and run on sentences. This particular blog subject has nothing to do with my business and everything to do with creativity, which in turn helps me with my business…I think. So in advance to warn you, this is more of a reflection, my thoughts on a season and the need to help change my perspective on it as well as put pen to paper. Even though this subject is not about a service we offer or a product we sell, please come check us out at Aqua Serene Wellness. I can promise the sharing of knowledge, professional attention, possibly some spiced tea, conversation, a toasty warm Infrared SOQI Spa session and of course love. Here goes….

Welcome October!

It is officially Fall and the smell of wet leaves, apple pie, pumpkins and nutmeg seem to fill the senses. It is a time of year that nature tells us to begin to look within. Time to rest, to reflect, and to slow down some.

I have never been a huge fan of Fall. I don’t like the cold rain, never-ending wet leaves and sweet gum pods all over my driveway and yard. Who on earth thinks it is a good idea to plant sweet gum trees near a driveway or house is beyond me? They belong in the woods, or in a yard beyond the reach of gutters and sidewalks. Stepping on a sweet-gum pod barefoot is akin to stepping on a Lego in the dark! Oh, and my personal opinion of Pumpkin Spiced Latte…yuck!

I miss my flip flops, the smell fresh mowed grass, rose bushes blooming and tending my garden. I miss pitchers of sun tea, the dance of the firefly and the song of the tree frogs and crickets chirping on a hot summer night. I miss the warm sun beating down on my skin, driving with my sunroof open and sitting on the deck of the local neighborhood restaurant overlooking Eagle Creek Reservoir having a glass of wine.

Fall always has brought with it a sense of doom and gloom for me.

As a kid, we didn’t go back to school until after Labor Day. Fall crept in fast after the newness of seeing old friends, unmarked notebooks and a fresh box of crayons wore off. It meant homework, darkening evening skies, going to bed early, getting up in the dark for breakfast, eating a Pop-tart. Digging for the super ball in the bottom of a box cereal before my brother beat me to it. He still managed to get the prize by pulling my hair until I surrendered it up.

Bus rides to school for me were almost 45 minutes long one way, and yes I walked quite a ways to the bus stop..uphill in the snow! The classroom smelled of chalk, dusty books, pencil shavings and blue mimeograph ink on freshly printed assignments. The weekly reader and math puzzles kept us quiet while the “teacher that no one wanted to get” sat at her desk longing for her long lost college days. The best days were always book fair days and classroom parties with cupcakes and foaming sherbert punch.

School lunches consisted of a lukewarm mini carton of milk, something that resembled a brown cow pile that they called Swiss steak over instant mash potatoes.  A pale green square of peas sat in one corner of the tray and a glop of apple crisp that was far from crisp on the other. My mom worked late nights so no one packed my lunch. I would envy my friends with the Partridge Family lunch box harboring a cheese sandwich, ding dongs and thermos of red Kool-aide.

I would eat a bite or two of my designated school lunch ensconced upon an unappetizing flesh colored tray, suck up warm milk in a paper straw that collapsed after the second sip and then fill the carton back up with the peas so I could be excused from the table. If you didn’t eat the vegetable you had to sit there until everyone else was released. If it was freezing cold outside I left the peas, succotash, lima beans or steamed carrots in plain sight. Less time shivering outside at recess! I would feel my stomach growl on the drizzle covered playground, the swings were damp, the slide was wet and the monkey bars were dangerous to navigate in Mary Jane’s and a jumper dress. The boys didn’t care, they wore slacks, us girls could wear tights under our dress of course but the damp air slid right up those baggy things to your ruffled day of the weeks panties!

High school of course changed a majority of that scene. Fall became more sports oriented, pep rallies, spirit week, bonfires, parties, driving to school, cutting out for lunch without getting caught or buying al-carte in the cafeteria. Jumper dresses were exchanged for mini skirts, fringed vests, bell bottoms and cowl necked sweaters. Recess was no longer an option so we did our best to slip outside between classes or after lunch to sneak a puff or two. Halloween no longer meant Trick-or-Treat, it meant haunted houses and sending October out with a monster bash!

Fall is the season of my birth, I am an October child, a perfectly balanced Libra Ha! I lost my father in the fall of 2011,  and my maternal grandmother died four days after my 10th birthday. It was 1970 and she had bought me my first pair of real panty hose, they were just gaining popularity in the US and since mini skirts were all the rage they became a necessary accessory. I wore those brand new panty hose to her funeral, she would have loved that. She knew she was leaving and I desperately wanted her to stay. The Universe had other plans. She was so excited to give me those panty hose and to this day when I wear panty hose (not often I might add) I think of her. Panty hose and I are not friends, either I get the size that has left me with about 6 inches of webbed space between my thighs and crotch making walking like a cowboy a real thing, or the next size up which brings the waistband up over my bra and still  wrinkled nylon at the knees and ankles.

This October I decided to do this mantra: “I will embrace the change of the seasons. I will rejoice in the fact the colored leaves are natures fall flowers. That the rain quenches the soil for its long winter rest and that the smell of burning leaves won’t make my eyes itch or my nose run. I will trade flip flops for fun boots, roses for apples, and sun tea for hot cider. I will listen for the crow’s conversations and bird songs at my feeders”.  I still will avoid panty hose and I will never like pumpkin spiced lattes, but that is OK!

I hope you will join me in welcoming October with joy and reflection, and please remind me to thank my lucky stars that red Kool-aide, Ding Dongs and cheese sandwiches are no longer my cravings for lunch and that David Cassidy is 66 years old. I still believe that lima beans, succotash and peas belong hidden in the milk carton, and if you ever see me in a mini skirt with a webbed crotch pair of panty hose showing from beneath the hem line blame my grandma!

Come visit us at Aqua Serene Wellness. We are located in Carmel Indiana (home of the never ending round about) 317-564-0930 Comments are welcomed and encouraged. If you enjoyed my post please share it. Thanks for reading along.

Tales From The Intergluteal Cleft and Fashion Observations.

mom jeans

Here is a photo of me in my Mom Jeans mid 90’s Mom Jeans

Tales from the Intergluteal Cleft….

Yes, that is the medical term for “Butt Crack” as much as I would have liked to name this particular blog “tales from the butt crack” I figured I might get flagged, or garnered an audience that was not really interested in intestinal health, wellness or humor….before we begin I need to get the disclaimer out of the way: I am not giving any medical or treatment advice here, this is just my opinion and not approved probably by most agencies….

As a rule I don’t offer colon hydrotherapy advice on the world wide web, that requires a digestive consultation in our office and a novella of paperwork to determine what, when, why and why not as the case may be sometimes.

I will however offer some interesting stories, a few insights and my own personal experience since I am always getting myself into situations that require the title of “Guess what the heck happened now”

First off let me begin by saying I am an anatomy nerd. I love it, it speaks to me in a language reserved for brainy science and biology loving nerds like myself. The skeletal muscles were an absolute pain in the Gluteus Maximus to learn, let alone teach. There are approximately 685 (some sources say 840) of skeletal muscles in your body.  I love the way they tell me where they are located, what they do and the fact they can be both antagonist (a muscle that opposes the action of another) and agonist (the prime mover) So they have a relationship, kinda like Yin and Yang….We as people should learn from that and be more like muscles!

Often times I tend to speak in anatomical terms. I have to be careful not only so that the person I am talking with doesn’t glaze over, (much like I do when an actuarial science person tries to explain risks, statistics and finance to me) or that I don’t miss-pronounce stuff. More on that in another blog post.

So back to the Intergluteal Cleft, more pointedly the “Superior Intergluteal Cleft”, for many years this was my only source of cleavage. Trust me on this, low rise jeans were to me like a halter top to a DD cupped women. I could not find a pair of jeans that fit! If they fit my derriere they gaped open at the waist!

Some Fashion Observations:

The Era of Low Rise Jeans;

My first era being the hip hugging bell bottoms I wore to high school in the early 1970’s. On one such day my visible Superior Intergluteal Cleft (upper part of the butt crack) was gifted a metal silk screen letter purposefully dropped down it in D.E. class while we were silk screening fan wear. I slapped that boy so hard his eyes watered!

The second coming of low rise jeans came for me when I was an established mom in my 30’s not wanting to wear “mom jeans” from Lands End (however I love their winter coats) these low rise jeans were not made for me either. Putting on a belt and then tucking in my shirt gave me the “muffin top” look that having two babies made unavoidable. There was an incident when I got the nick name of  “Plumber” from my then soccer family, which I didn’t live down for years, no more sitting on a blanket watching the game for me! Now I am a “plumber” of sorts in my career, kinda ironic isn’t it?

Thank goodness now that I am in my 50’s jeans are more fitting, but don’t get me started on the leggings just yet…

Some Observations on Wellness:

Sitting on your Intergluteal Cleft all day has lately been referred to the “New Smoking” Like smoking was ever new, and like sitting on your arse all day was ever good for you? However with the internet and social media the trend is to make up new terminology and fear tactics to get the same old points across, i.e.: smoking is bad for you and so is sitting on you butt all day. Get up and move, nothing new here people….

Speaking of moving, you know I am going to go there…I am a colon hydrotherapist after all. There are other muscles in your body besides skeletal. You have cardiac muscles, obviously they handle the heart business, and you have smooth muscles. Your colon, or intestines are fine example of these (your entire digestive tract are as well). These muscles are “moved” by a function called peristalsis. This is an involuntary action of constriction and relaxation making wave like movements to push stuff along controlled by your nervous system. This is why we cannot digest very well when we are upset, angry, or running from the Saber Toothed Tiger. The nervous system knows to send energy to the cardiac and skeletal muscles during those times. We need to breathe, pump blood and run like the wind, not digest when we are being chased. This is why we get nauseated for instance we almost get in a car wreck, or see the flashing lights in our rear view mirror.

There is so much more to go into here but I will not bore you with an anatomy lesson on digestion, you can make an appointment at Aqua Serene Wellness with me for that! Please do, I promise it will be informative and fun.

Parting Story on a Personal Note:

I will leave you with another short personal story concerning my Superior Intergluteal Cleft…I was reminded of this story the other day when a friend asked me about chiggers..those annoying little bugs that itch like the dickens. Again, let me state that I am not giving any medical or treatment advice here!! There are many holistic home remedies for these annoying things, aloe, calamine lotion, ice, peppermint, etc., my grandma, being an American Indian from the hills of W. Va., had all kinds of concoctions she used on us kids, most stunk, burned or made you throw up. They all seemed to work, or we were so miserable from the side effects of the concoction we forgot about the original complaint. Nail polish was her go to for many things, chigger bites included.

Fast forward to many years later while gardening my “cleavage” was showing and the chiggers found their way to that delicate skin exposed above my gardening jeans and they feasted on me. After using calamine, peppermint, aloe, ice, etc., I remembered Grandma’s nail polish advice…all I had was red nail polish…Yep for three days I sported “Latin Dance Night Red” in the vicinity of my superior intergluteal cleft!
Please comment with any funny stories or thoughts you may have concerning the content of this blog in the manner it was intended, to make you giggle, or possibly chuckle your glutes off. This way I know it was worth me just sitting here doing the “new smoking” thing.

Visit us at Aqua Serene Wellness In Carmel Indiana (home of the never ending roundabout)

301 E Carmel Drive Suite C-100, Carmel, Indiana 46032  phone 317-564-0930