Vacation, that short stint of time many of us work all year long for. We squeeze in sights, beach time, hikes, local food, drinks, and sports and often our cheeks. We pack too many clothes, not enough money, and usually forget something. We end up with a few trinkets to remind us of our time away and then return home to be paid back for leaving in the first place. Strange food, drinks and even stranger bathrooms.
I remember many vacations in my life. I was “lucky” and got to go on one every summer as a kid. My parents packed up the family car, my brother and myself and off we went to spend July 4th in another state. Those trips took us to Florida, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia Beach, West Virginia, and Georgia to name a few.
I was a kid who got car sick, and I still do. My brother made that trip so much more miserable. Not only did he say and do things to further my suffering, he also punched really hard in the innocent game of slug bug. My father would threaten to turn the car around most of the trip and eventually he would have to separate us. I remember begging to stop and pee and my dad making me wait. I threw up on the road side in every state south and east of Ohio. We never really went west…
My mom would make my dad stop at a hotel before dark so we could go swimming. My brother and I shared a full size bed in a Travel Lodge or HoJo’s and he would kick me to the floor, where I ended up with a pillow and the hotel bedspread. I cringe to think what was on either of those now that I am an adult.
My dad would always joke that I had “visited” every restroom in every city we had ever been too. I even had to potty in a minnow bucket under the bow of our boat (my dad’s idea of a cruise vacation). Unless you have done number 2 in a minnow bucket at full throttle under the bow of a boat with nothing more than a Campbells Soup beach towel for privacy then you have not fully committed to the term ” make due”!
As I grew older the need to “visit” every bathroom (or makeshift bathroom) has never changed. I found out as an adult that I have some extra stuff, 4 renal pelvis(s), 2 sets of ureters, and the smallest bladder in the world! So what this means basically my capacity for filtering and getting rid of fluids is 2-4 times the clip of a normal set of kidneys, and what a joke that I also came equipped with a tiny bladder! Top that off with loosing part of your Large Intestine, that makes me an expert bathroom finder on any given adventure! I am the one who will get up as soon as the seat belt sign shuts off to use the plane bathroom, one of several reasons I am an isle seat girl.
To quote my long departed grandmother: “Never skip the opportunity to empty your bladder”
I have been to some fabulous bathrooms in my day and I have also had to improvise. I will only tell you a few stories so as to save you from my embarrassment!
Some top notch Bathrooms I have visited:
The Princeville Resort, Princeville Hawaii (Kauai) the view was amazing!
The Signature Room Lounge in the John Hancock Building womens restroom, best ever view of Chicago!
The town of Kohler Wisconsin, (nuff said)
The Four Seasons Resort Hualalai on The Big Island (they have an outdoor shower) check out their website here
Sax at Keystone at the Crossing. I always use the bathroom there because that is all I can afford to do in that store!
I won’t make a list of the worst, not much compares to a cramped port-a-pot on a 95 degree day that has not been emptied for the entire weekend! #soccermom
I have had to makeshift my way more than a few times. The minnow bucket is one of my earliest memories!
I have hiked up a path in the Red Rocks hoping not to get bitten by a rattle snake.
Several “side of the roads”:
Once along the Blue Ridge Highway and I was walked up upon by some astonished hikers.
In no mans land West Va. We stopped at a gas station that they had either just dressed a deer in the restroom or murdered someone. I was not quite sure, nor was I going to stay around to find out. The side of the road on that rainy fog laden night was a safer choice, McDonalds napkin in hand!
I’ve dropped my drawers in the Painted Desert, and in a cornfield on the back roads of Hendricks County. Handing off the wheel of my truck to my then 12 year old son because I could not sit upright to drive the rest of the way home from a BBQ. I made him swear to never tell because not only was it illegal for him to drive it was highly embarrassing! (It was field corn btw)
I even left my “Vicky’s” behind on a Greyhound bus in Galveston, Texas on the way to the airport due to a drinking binge on the last night of a cruise vacation. There was no TP, Paper towels or fabric to be found.
So ironically I find myself in the “potty” business. It really is funny when you think about it. I have the Cadillac of Toilets (Angel of Water Colonic Machine) and you can do your business fireside in our beautifully designed colonic room, equipped with bluetooth speakers for your personal music or podcast, a fire place and wifi.
There are many funny bathroom stories in my life and my clients usually have a classic to tell me. So if you are interested in sharing your story I am always up for a good bathroom tale.
Meanwhile we have lowered the price of colon hydrotherapy through the end of 2017 for our “Fourth Quarter Blowout”! Ha! Plus we carry several items to digest your adventurous vacation food choices.
For those going south of the border we have Absinthium, (best choice for travelers diarrhea), Intesta Cleanse and let’s not forget Para A for those little friends we may bring home with us often known as parasites!
Then there is the trusty Enema Bucket. You might want to pack this item in your checked bag. You could get some funny looks if they decide to unload your carry on luggage at the airport!
We are located in Carmel Indiana, home of the Round-A-Bout, kinda what I feel I am on when looking for the ladies room in a strange town!
We offer Colon Hydrotherapy, Digestive Support, Holistic Facial Services, Organic Skin Care by Dr. Hauschka, Energy Therapies, Massage, Acupuncture, Functional Medicine, Health and Wellness Coaching, Ionic Foot Detox and Reiki.
check out our services here
Disclaimer: As always my blog is for educational purposes only. We do not offer medical advice, treat or diagnose. Check with your medical professional before taking any supplements or undergoing any treatments.