The day we celebrate the person who sacrificed alcohol, cigarettes, Tylenol, hanging clothes on the line (old wives tail) and all around being a “normal” human being for 9 months so she could be a healthy host to us; the perfect little parasite!
Yes, for the majority of us we started out leaching nutrients, wreaking havoc, punching, kicking and growing inside our mother. We kept her up at night, caused her to throw up breakfast for a few months, demanded special food for her to crave at midnight, made her feet swell, her beautiful skin etch with stretch marks, her body to become uncomfortably large, her emotions to go wild and then into sheer panic on how and when the heck we would exit the facility!
That is the easy part of being a mother…
I have a mother and I am a mother.
It is the absolute hardest job in the world. There are no real requirements, degrees, certifications, or graduations to qualify you for this, on both ends of the spectrum, to be a mother or to have one.
First let me explain a bit about this day for my family and I. Mother’s Day has brought many tears to those I have loved. Both of my grandmothers and my mother in law all choose this day to take their Heavenly Journey. While the actual date differs yearly, the “day” still will always be Mother’s Day.
It has taken years to enjoy a Mother’s Day and not have that sadness take over, it still creeps in, but I have learned to make peace with it. Both of my grandmothers were older, in nursing homes and in poor health, but my mother in law was only 60 years old and it took us all by utter shock! I remember the day so vividly. My children had spent the night the evening before with her and their grandfather. We were all going to meet over at their house for lunch. My kids were 5 1/2 and 8 years old. They found her. She had died suddenly that morning and our world was turned upside down. Explaining to my kids how Grandma was now an Angel was almost impossible. One thing that helped, she loved Angels and had them all over her house so this seemed to make sense to two little boys and for that I was grateful. Mother’s Day 1996 was by far one of the saddest days of our lives.
Through the years my mom and I would joke about still breathing by midnight-01 and expelled a sigh of relief that we escaped the curse of Mother’s Day for yet another year. We have spent a lot of Mother’s Days together and they become more and more special as she ages into her mid 80’s. This year Mother’s Day brings the impending wait for her heart surgery to be scheduled. We both Thank God that regularly scheduled heart surgeries don’t take place on Sundays! She has asked for a date AFTER May 13th for the surgery just to be safer.
So having a mom comes with responsibility as well.
As children we worry them, as teenagers we make them angry and worry them, as adults we make them proud if we are lucky and still worry them. Then as time moves on we have to make decisions, medical, financial, caregiving, etc., that are difficult, and knowing “someday” is getting closer and we have to prepare to say good bye and learn to live with them in our hearts…this also worries them.
Not to be too morbid of course, but to also honor a day that for many is filled with fancy dinners and flowers, for others it is a very hard day to get through. There are many among us who have lost our mothers and grandmothers. There are many who have lost children or cannot have a child and this day is extremely difficult. We must remember to be gentle with people, we may not know or understand their story.
To BE a mother is a full bag of stuff as well.
I have two boys that are now ages 27 and 30. Shortly after they lost their grandmother my husband and I got divorced. I became a single mom, although I had felt like one since they were babies.
Being a single mom comes with all kinds of difficulty and rewards. As I look back on those times when it was just “us three” I am filled with good memories. I am surprised I managed so many things on my own. I taught them to drive a tractor, use a push mower and a weed-eater. I showed them how to make a fire and keep the wood burning stove going, use a power washer, power tools and more. They also learned to cook, use the washing machine and rescue and rehab dogs. We had so many fun times and so many nights I lay awake terrified I was screwing up.
Now that my kids are adults, I am thankful we still have each other, we have faced some very difficult times together, “us three”. I know I have messed up some along the way, I know I probably still will. It never stops, being a mom, the worry, the tears, the love…it doesn’t even stop once we are gone.
To quote Elizabeth Stone:
“Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”
I also was a stepmom for 9 years, which is a whole different kind of mom, for that you get a warrior badge!
Here is wishing you all a Happy Mother’s Day and I hope you take the time to pat yourself on the back for being a mom and for having one!
We love having all Mother’s come to Aqua Serene Wellness for pampering anytime of the year. We are located in Carmel Indiana, home of the never ending Round-A-Bout!
Aqua Serene Wellness offers Colon Hydrotherapy, Digestive Support, Holistic Facial Services, Organic Skin Care by Dr. Hauschka, Energy Therapies, Massage, Acupuncture, Functional Medicine, Health and Wellness Coaching, Ionic Foot Detox and Coolsculpting® Services.
Check out our services here
Disclaimer: As always my blog is for educational purposes only. We do not offer medical advice, treat or diagnose. Check with your medical professional before taking any supplements or undergoing any treatments.